Letting Go

Today is Wishcasting Wednesday at Jamie Ridler’s!  Today’s prompt is:

What do you wish to let GO?

Well, yes, I’m quite surprised at how difficult this wishing stuff is. And, yes, I realize I shouldn’t have expected it to be easy.  Writing it down makes me feel a little more accountable to having an expectation and working on making the wish come true.

So, here goes.  I wish to let go of the expectations I place upon myself.  Those expectations that are unrealistic and unnecessary; the ones that I look at and think, “I can’t do that, so why do anything?“  Along with that is the over concern about what other people think.  Both of those can pack their bags and head out immediately.

SO … What do I wish to complete?  I’ve put this off since late last night when she posted the question.  It seems like an overwhelming question and I’m starting this post in faith that somehow I’ll be able to answer it.  I often find that through writing I can focus my thoughts … I’m going to be positive and believe that somehow I’ll find my way through.

There is so much I want to accomplish; there are so many places that I want to be next week, next month, next year.  Maybe the point, for me right now, is not to think so big.  I have that problem.  I think too big sometimes.  I am often overwhelmed; wondering how the hell I’ll get there.  So, think small.  What do I want to complete.  I want my house clean.  Not only clean, but I want it to stay clean.  After I clean tonight, I want it to be clean tomorrow too.  My house was clean last week (makes me think of that saying, “My house was clean last week, sorry you missed it).  It’s a disaster once again.

I’m not a cleaner.  Now that I have a toddler who likes to destroy anything that isn’t destroyed, it makes it far more difficult for me to be motivated.  Why clean up when it’s going to be worse in 20 minutes?!

But, this is a wish and my thoughts are now focused.

I WISH TO COMPLETE MY HOUSECLEANING, TO INCLUDE THE LAUNDRY!

This dreamboard is a visual manifestation of what I want to bring into my life over this next month.  I may go back and explain what’s on it, though … we’ll see.

Next month I’m planning to do it by hand, rather than on the computer and I’m starting a vision board for the rest of this year.  I’ll post it when I’m done!

Anyway, I usually take a peak at dresses and such, but this time … O M G!  Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe there is a stylist strike going on … why would I have heard about that?  And maybe these women are so dependent upon said stylist that they panic and grab the first tablecloth or reach into their closet and grab the first old bridesmaid dress

they can find.  Seriously.

There were so many bad dresses that I ignored guests (yikes!) and a few of the stars who are often wearing fugly clothes.  You know … like Sarah Silverman.  Funny girl, but she doesn’t let it stop with her words and follows through with her clothes.  Hmm … dedication to her craft maybe.

YUCK

Taking the new supernatural tv themes far too seriously.  Even Kristin Stewert and Rpattz aren’t showing up in stuff like this!

Even I want to make some snarky witch comment.

***

The wedding crew:

I swear I’ve seen pictures of mother’s of the bride wearing this same dress … back in the 70′s.

Another one … Joely Fisher, funny girl but a really, really … I can’t even say these are bad dresses.  I mean, a bad dress is one that might have worked, but just didn’t.  These dresses were never, ever, EVER going to work!

Kara knows she’d like to have kids some day and that some day those kids will make her a grandma.  She just wanted to be prepared for the day those grandkids get married.

***

The previously mentioned table cloth:

***

Most unfortunate red carpet innocent victim:

Who do you look at?  The woman wearing the really weird dress or the woman picking her ass in the background?  (See her?  No, well, look to the left of January Jones.  There ya go.)

***

Strangest moment:

What on earth ….

***

Saddest moment:

Oh Patricia.  This makes me want to weep.  And I’m somewhat serious.  In every picture I’ve ever seen of her and even in her acting, this uncomfortable feeling always seeps out.  She just doesn’t seem happy with herself.  BE happy, girl!  Who cares if you aren’t 110 lbs?  What is so very sad about this dress is that the other women … they don’t seem to know it.  Even table cloth girl.  But, Patricia?  She knows it.  She knows that her boobs are shoved into this dress and are half falling out … but only on one side.  She knows that it looks like her dress used to have two sleeves, but she ripped it putting it on and this was the “fix”.  Ugh.

So, to end on a high note there were a couple dresses I liked.  Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dress was beautiful.  Maybe a little too run-through-the-woods-I’m-a-fairy-princess lalalalalaaaaa.  Sorry.  But, I thought it was pretty.  Sandra Oh, stunning.  Heidi Klum … I mean, how you squeeze yourself into a dress, deal with all the hair and makeup and then stand around looking ridiculously beautiful in the heat WHILE 9 months pregnant, I have no clue, but she did it.

Out of them all, here are my two faves.

I have been a fan of Toni Collete’s for a long, long time now.  I “discovered” her about 10 or 12 years ago when she was in a movie with Gwyneth Paltrow and then saw her in another Aussie movie.  Love her and I’m so glad that she’s not only making waves here with her acting, but that she also looked super fab in this wicked dress.  Makes me think of a glammed up pirate with all the ripped skirts and stuff.  Look, I never said I was a fashion expert.

Drew … there is something a little less flowy (yes, it’s a word … or it should be) than Toni’s, bu I still like it.  She looks amazing.  I thought this color would wash her out, but she pulls it off.  She pulls off just about anything.  I think it’s about attitude.  She needs to sit down with Patricia.

Have a sit down and SPILL!

52 hits and 20 in the past couple of days.  I know those all weren’t Terri and JoAnn, so … who are you??  Come out of lurkerdom and share a cup of this holy-crap-could-they-fit-any-more-candy-on-that hot chocolate.  Apparently this cuppa was purchased in Dorset, England.  And, so not to offend, cuppa should really only apply to a cup of tea … but, ya know, creative license and all.  And, I suppose if I hadn’t said that, some of you may  not have even know.  Ah well.

My house is still a mess.  But, I’ve thought about cleaning and did pick up a little … a very little, but, here’s a big, fat OH WELL!

So, today’s quick question (I couldn’t think of a topic beyond, who on earth is reading this drivel?!) … how many blogs do you faithfully follow?  Do you blog faithfully yourself?  Add in your blog link and if ya want I’ll add it to my blogroll which is sadly lacking (and yes, has wordpress on there twice … huh?!).  I mean … all these hits maybe you’ll get some new readers.  I suggest food porn.  Apparently it works.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/simon999/2494376290/in/set-72157603843847117/

They are completely unnecessary and for this girl, unwelcome.  I have them a lot, I’m sure it’s my crazed calm personality.  It may also have to do with insomnia.  I rarely sleep more than a few hours at night.  This morning it’s a chicken vs. egg scenario.  I woke up with a ridiculous headache and my child is screaming at me every few minutes.  Who started the cycle?  Yeah, probably I did.

So, when you know you are the problem, how the heck do you fix that?  We’re going to try having a chat with my friend Excedrin Migraine and maybe invite his friend 800mg Ibuprofen.  Of course I need to have something in my stomach first which means I have to … well, find something to eat!

What has this taught me?  A few things actually.  I desperately need to get the house in order and our daily life into a schedule.  I have such a hard time cleaning up.  It isn’t that I don’t like cleaning, but it feels pointless when you have a toddler running behind you and making more of a mess than what was there before!

So, if anyone is reading and has or has had little ones in the house, how do you do it?  Do you just clean every waking moment?  Do you not worry about it and just clean once a week for hours?

P.S. I’ve decided to add a chocolate picture to each post.  I mean, what’s the point of a blog entitled “chocolate emergency” without any food porn?!  So, if anyone wants to send me a picture of their own to add in, let me know!

I’ll blog about it here and see how things go. 

We had a nice day yesterday … well, the end of the day.  Most of it was crazy and I nearly cancelled my plans.  Ben talked me into going and it was nice.  The two girls I was with have five boys between them ranging from Phaelan’s age (almost 3) to five.  Wow, writing that makes me shudder!  It’s odd to see how small Phaelan is next to all of them.  It’s hard to believe he isn’t that much younger!

So, not much bitching today.  I’m off to my in-laws to visit for a day and then come home for a day by myself.  First overnight for my bug and I think he’s going to do much better than I am!

Life has been a little insane the past few weeks.  My *monster child has been quite a handful and I may possibly be losing my mind.  But, it won’t be long before I have help again.

I did have the chance to be at my first birth and that was amazing.  I will never forget that.

So, back to obsession.  Right now, it’s Lost.  What it needs to be is housecleaning.  So, today I will be getting to that since I have come to the end of available episodes online.  Fortunately, even though my house is a disaster, it isn’t too bad, so I should be under control shortly.  I feel better when my house is clean … I just don’t feel better while I’m doing the cleaning. 

I need to come up with some interesting blog topics.  Because this bored ME!

*In my last post I used the fancy “strikethrough” and it took me hours and hours of searching to figure out how to do it.  Now I find out there’s just one of those stupid little buttons to push or I just have to hit alt-shift-d.  Bastard.

How we I have spent so much money over the past 8 months, I just don’t know.

I’ve just applied for some writing jobs.  It would be nice to be able to make a little bit of extra money from home.  Not to mention a bit of published experience.  I’m not looking for a “get-rich-quick” scheme, so hopefully this will prove to be a good lead.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to “get-rich-quick” fo sho, but I’m not a dummy.

Do you know how difficult it is to find good Pagan mom blogs?  It’s difficult.  Trust me.  Someone dear to me (wink wink) sent me this link.  http://silvermoonwitch.blogspot.com/

My bug went to bed decently and I spent the rest of the night just doing a bunch of nothing.  Well, I had my IM set up on our desktop and I don’t use that much.  I’d forgotten to change how the alerts work; usually it just alerts me when someone sends me a message and at midnight, that is a pretty good indication that it’s my husband.  So, I’m crashed in the bed, tangled up in my laptop and cords when I get an alert.  At the same time, I hear my bug coming out of his room.  So, I quickly attempt to get myself out of the cords and over to the computer so that I can let my hubby know I’m up, but need a second to get the baby.  Well, our bed is a bit high off the ground and I guess I was a bit tired or more tangled than I thought because BANG!  I wacked my shin and then slid down … uck.  So, now I am adorned with a Go, Go and a Dora band aid.  Oh, and it wasn’t my husband, just someone coming online.  Surprisingly, I didn’t swear.  And, I was able to use it as a good example to my kiddo on how hydrogen peroxide really doesn’t hurt an owie.

I’m not exactly sure how exactly to do pictures here, but hopefully they’ll work.  Also, thought I’d add a couple of pictures of the sad, sad gazebo.  Really it WAS pretty before.